tootboy
Try not to look too far ahead, but keep your eyes on the future.
American Idol - The Boyz are back in town - the top 12
Tags: 
american idol
american idolPreamble: i write an american idol review each week and have been doing so for 4 years now. why do i do it? because i'm great at it.
these reviews go out to friends, family and former colleagues (who subscribe) by email on the night of the show.
--deadlines suck--
Starting today, and every saturday thereafter I will repost my reviews. Hope you are entertained by them.
***************************************
(originally reviewed 2/19)
RYAN SEACREST (Voice Over)
(in a dramatic voice over dramatic mood setting music)
Last Year on American Idol, Blake Lewis along with 11 really boring, awful singers started the season with a thud. Tonight, we've been hyping this group of youngsters as the best all-around set we've ever had. Is it possible? Are we lying? Is Paul Abdul completely insane? We'll find out tonight as the guys (well, most of them are guys) sing for you!
Thissss…Issss….AmericanIdol
CUT TO : Cheesy credits
We are back folks. "Mary", "Stella" and Scott to guide you through this year's candidates. We won't stop until someone is crowned the American Idol, Season 7 sometime in next 8 months or so, according to the schedule.
So let's get to it, since you know the drill:
There is a theme for the 12 Boyz tonight. HAIR!
Here baby, there mama, Everywhere daddy daddy. Hair! (hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair)
Flow it, Show it; Long as god can grow it, My Hair!
The boyz have it long, straight, curly, fuzzy, snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty, confettied and even Dreddy.
You Get the point.
Lots of pretty guys, AND ALL OF THEM ARE NAMED DAVID!
First David of the night: Mr. Hernandez.
"Midnight Hour" began with a gospel feel and then ran straight into sheer boredom. D.H. has a big voice which is rare for a guy on American Idol.
However, the girls were not "feeling it, dawg"
We turn next to the soul stylings of Chikezie…Chikezie like Sunday Mornin', who comes out wearing a Pimp suit (in fact did you see the Geico commercial with the Pips right after wearing the same Pimp suit?!) He's croonin' the Spiral Starecase classic, "More today than yesterday". Acutally I loved him more before he sang.
"Stella" says, "Naaaaaaah, Fast Forward". Ah, the power of the DVR…
David Cook's reworking of "Happy Together" starts so slowly he embodied the Turtles (the animal, and not the Singing Group). It picked up eventually and the folks at Dreamworks will be using this version at the end of Shrek Four: Oh, Grr!
The girls think this David looks like Spenser, the brother on iCarly. (you have to know a 10 year old to get that one)
Jason Yeager does the Peabo Bryson version of "Moon River". There are lots of famous Yeager's out there. Catcher Steve Yeager. American Legend, Chuck Yeager. And everyone's favorite college buddy, Jagermeister.
Jason won't be one of them.
Robbie Carrico sings, "One" written by Harry Nilsson and recorded by Three Dog Night. Mary likes it, but she's the only one.
David number 15 is David Archuleta. Of course back in the 1970s, he was known by his stage name, Glenn Scarpelli.
When not hanging out on, "One Day at a Time", Glenn sang, "Shop Around" while his dad, Tom Wopat (Did you happen to catch this guy in the audience??) smiled along. Of course Tom was one of the Duke boys. Thank goodness no David Dukes in the audience.
Danny Noriega is a rebel and a rulebreaker. Danny thought the 1960s theme was too constricting and decided he needed a 50s theme. 1957's "Jailhouse Rock" was Danny's chances to be in a sock hop. With his '80s skinny tie, and his Pat Benatar hair, I'm not sure what decade Danny is from.
(in a dramatic voice over dramatic mood setting music)
Last Year on American Idol, Blake Lewis along with 11 really boring, awful singers started the season with a thud. Tonight, we've been hyping this group of youngsters as the best all-around set we've ever had. Is it possible? Are we lying? Is Paul Abdul completely insane? We'll find out tonight as the guys (well, most of them are guys) sing for you!
Thissss…Issss….AmericanIdol
CUT TO : Cheesy credits
We are back folks. "Mary", "Stella" and Scott to guide you through this year's candidates. We won't stop until someone is crowned the American Idol, Season 7 sometime in next 8 months or so, according to the schedule.
So let's get to it, since you know the drill:
There is a theme for the 12 Boyz tonight. HAIR!
Here baby, there mama, Everywhere daddy daddy. Hair! (hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair)
Flow it, Show it; Long as god can grow it, My Hair!
The boyz have it long, straight, curly, fuzzy, snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty, confettied and even Dreddy.
You Get the point.
Lots of pretty guys, AND ALL OF THEM ARE NAMED DAVID!
First David of the night: Mr. Hernandez.
"Midnight Hour" began with a gospel feel and then ran straight into sheer boredom. D.H. has a big voice which is rare for a guy on American Idol.
However, the girls were not "feeling it, dawg"
We turn next to the soul stylings of Chikezie…Chikezie like Sunday Mornin', who comes out wearing a Pimp suit (in fact did you see the Geico commercial with the Pips right after wearing the same Pimp suit?!) He's croonin' the Spiral Starecase classic, "More today than yesterday". Acutally I loved him more before he sang.
"Stella" says, "Naaaaaaah, Fast Forward". Ah, the power of the DVR…
David Cook's reworking of "Happy Together" starts so slowly he embodied the Turtles (the animal, and not the Singing Group). It picked up eventually and the folks at Dreamworks will be using this version at the end of Shrek Four: Oh, Grr!
The girls think this David looks like Spenser, the brother on iCarly. (you have to know a 10 year old to get that one)
Jason Yeager does the Peabo Bryson version of "Moon River". There are lots of famous Yeager's out there. Catcher Steve Yeager. American Legend, Chuck Yeager. And everyone's favorite college buddy, Jagermeister.
Jason won't be one of them.
Robbie Carrico sings, "One" written by Harry Nilsson and recorded by Three Dog Night. Mary likes it, but she's the only one.
David number 15 is David Archuleta. Of course back in the 1970s, he was known by his stage name, Glenn Scarpelli.
When not hanging out on, "One Day at a Time", Glenn sang, "Shop Around" while his dad, Tom Wopat (Did you happen to catch this guy in the audience??) smiled along. Of course Tom was one of the Duke boys. Thank goodness no David Dukes in the audience. Danny Noriega is a rebel and a rulebreaker. Danny thought the 1960s theme was too constricting and decided he needed a 50s theme. 1957's "Jailhouse Rock" was Danny's chances to be in a sock hop. With his '80s skinny tie, and his Pat Benatar hair, I'm not sure what decade Danny is from.
Luke Menard… Takes the Midnight Cowboy theme song, "Everyone's Talkin'" by Harry Nilsson (though written by Fred Neil) to a new level of boredom. He's gone after tonight…I have to note this though: His favorite bands supposedly are Take 6, Chapter 6 and Maroon 5. What no 4 Non-Blondes or Brady 6??
Colton Berry does a version of "Suspicious Minds" that is so insincere that it's as if he has never heard the music or read the lyrics. He could be gone too.
Leif Garrett Haley Mills says that people think he's Peter Frampton because of his hair. His Torch Song version, "Breaking up is hard to do" is making Neil Sedaka almost wish he never wrote the song. The only thing missing from L.G.H.M.'s totally surfer dude's performance is a puka shell necklace.
Jason Castro gets folksy with the Lovin' Spoonful's "Daydream". It's the most enjoyable performance of the evening even without the song's famous whistling. Though I heard on the news tonight that Castro asked people not to vote for him.
Oh, wait…wrong Castro.
Last but not least is Michael Johns. He's obviously trying to imitate the famous singer of "Light my Fire", Jose Feliciano. You have to like Michael the singer. Michael the man is likable too. On the A.I. website it says his favorite bands are the Beatles, Queen, Otis, Bowie and Neil Finn of Crowded House. C'mon…he's in.
Tomorrow the Girls…
Prediction: Bye Bye Luke and Colton.
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